So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm gonna have a badass scar
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
