Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
