just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
