We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Fuck appropriateness.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
