you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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