Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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