hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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