Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize