The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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