please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
