I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
