Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
