Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
