ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
