There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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