What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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