She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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