Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
