and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
