This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
