So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize