Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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