we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
