She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
