Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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