Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She bit a glass in half.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
