I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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