If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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