just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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