He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
