Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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