Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
