Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize