I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
