i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
