Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
