Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
