Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
