Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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