She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
