You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
