Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
