I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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