WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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