my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
