Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
whose parrot is this?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
