i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
