Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
