DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
