I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
