the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
