I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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