woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
FUCK WHALES
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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