I skipped work to stalk him.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
wow bdsm is so cute
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