I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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