Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
