i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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