the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
