Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize