Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
