I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize